forever is only the beginning <-- x kena mengena :)

It’s been 15 months since I relocate to my hometown.

A bit of my life journey:

The first five years, I was here, in Gemas, then Seberang Perai due to my dad’s work transfer.

Then, kindergarten till standard 6, I am here.

Form 1, I studied at a quite prestigious school here for about a month, or two (I think), then transferred to boarding school in Perlis till my SPM.

Then I further my studies in Selangor, until I graduate. After my final paper, I came back here, within a month, I start my first job. I lasted 16 ½ months. The next job I landed was in Selangor. I work with 3 companies before I even consider relocating back to hometown.

Now, after 15 months here, I am still unable to attach my heart & soul to this pearl of the orient.

Was it because almost all my life experiences doesn’t happen here? The joy, the love, the tears, all have nothing to do with this place. Other than my family, which is always be my joy of life, I do not have much to relate to. The friends and social network I cherished doesn’t exist here. Yes, my best friend is here (you know who you are) yet, it’s not fulfilling.

I feel empty.

No matter how hard I try, with encouragement from that friend, I am still a stranger. Once  I thought, maybe I will find my Mr Right back in my hometown after all the heartbroken episodes happen outside. Sadly, I only develop about 10 new relationships with only 2 guys among the 10. Somehow, I pity myself. PATHETIC!

Now, considering moving away again. Maybe here can only be a place where I reconnect with my family, a place to sooth my feeling, cure a broken heart, and after the feeling past, I will soar up to the sky once again. But maybe no longer Selangor or KL, other country maybe? The temptations…………. Yummy! J

But, for the fear of disappointing my mom, I just can’t find the strength yet.. maybe ever?? The estranged daughter who return to live with her after spending only the first twelve years together is thinking of leaving again???? I just can’t find the words…………………….. any terms for it………